Oh no you didnt..

Yup yup. Not only did ma boy promise to take care of a bill (huge amounts of gratitude over here) but he also forgot it. The bill in itself is already delayed, and in my name. Of course, this is not his or anyone elses fault except my own, but it also proves I cant trust anyone but myself to get it done.
In the realising moment of this, I also find out there's too little money on my account to pay the rent. Becuase the fucktards (who spend their days very close computers, ie able to transfer money) didnt do the ONE thing that is asked of them. ONE. Im not even bitching about toiletpaper, garbage, advertisment, newspapers, I swear to god Im not.
Also, I got home way too late today, no studying done and probably horrible results on phonetics quiz, cause Im doing twice the amount of work my fellowstudents are in our particular group. I dont even know why.

Yup. You got me. Its a pity post. Felt like a natural evolution after drunken post, no?
Im just very very tired, and constantly slipping behind. And so hysterically broke. And so sick of being the only adult. All the time. (Which, you know, tends to make you heap all your stuff on the people who actually can take care of themselves, and that makes me feel like a bad panda).

And for the love of.. If youre sitting überclose to your speakers in the livingroom (you know, where other people live), you really dont need to crank your speakers up. You just dont.

Drunk blogging, pt. 1

Oh crap. Here it is again. Drunk blogging when there's other things to be done.
So uhm.. You know when you get together with someone from the past, and you dont really want it to end? Yup. That. With a dose of doubt about..Everything really. What am I doing with boyfirendu, mainly, but also with school, since I am caring so little about it.
I dunno, man. I dont recognize myself, but on the other hand, I havent for the last months, maybe Im metamorphosing again? Or..Have I ever stopped?
These, combined with a lot of Tale of Two Sisters and Ringu, will be following me to bed tonight, as boyfriend wont.
He's magical. He makes all boo boo's and grown up demons go away. I love the security he brings, but you know what that means.

After all that I ran from...

...Where the fuck did you come from?
Head's about to 'splode. Like a very frustrated plosive, 'k' perhaps.
Today we're going to talk about change, children. It is, indeed, a very scary process, but oh so necessary. See, school hasnt been going ..whatyoupeoplesay..Great?
Which could easily been explained with, you know, managing a life and all. Ive been told thats a big no-no at uni. Fine, so the transition from working fulltime to studying fulltime didnt go as smooth as expected, no problem for this tough cookie.
Uh..What? Youre supposed to do it all the time? And X-nay on the halfassed attempts to fix everything around you? Not even your serious relationship or your messy apartment (since you apperently live with autistic five year olds. Which is odd, cause they do look like 23+..)??

Stop. Rewind.
Nah, hold it. Stop. And nothing. Thats it, isnt it? Nothing else. Not for some time at least.
Ive been all over the place, work screwed me over, illness and illness, friends, parents, I something you, no inspiration and no time for it, Oh ho hum I could make this a long, ugly list but I wont. Why? I make myself sick by thinking Im above excuses.
So, in our freezeframe, I am doing nothing.
If we fastforward Ill move quickly and awkwardly through Gilmore Girls, an egg, and now blogging. Oh yeah, between the egg and the blogging there was also the completely unnecessary relationship meltdown.

Ah yes. The impecable timing that is my boyfriend.
What I am (calm and collected) trying to say to him is: I need more time for studies. I dont want to spend more time apart from him, far from it, but this is what I need to do. And I dont know how to do it just yet, but I will try to figure out a way, and Im kind of close-to-breakdown right now. He gets this. One of the reasons why I dig him so much.
Then he turns all worried, then he turns all silent and thoughtful, and then BAM!
We need to talk about the relationship. Now, any girl (and quite a few boys, for that matter) would tell you; this is not a good thing. So ofcourse I wonder what he means.
Its no biggie, its nothing new, but we need to talk about it, it is important, it can wait til another day, but he hates leaving it over the phone... You dig? This is what I get on the day I need to make changes? Panic, problems and paranoia? Thank you. And good night.

Why I am doing this again pt.1

We find our heroine alone in springtime Stockholm (finally!), on the train, devouring a foreign magazine, not understanding a word, but looking at the pretty pictures. As idiotic this may seem, it is infact the only way to read a fashion magazine without getting brainwashed, and this she will happily explain to you, would you ask her.
Suddenly, as the train accelerated from the station, it was as if something evoked within her. It feelt almost like .. A hunger, no, a need, no wait, something deeper and angrier... Th-The lust to rant!
It mightve been the obnoxious men sitting behind her, or all these months she's been biting her tounge, or even the ridiculous situation at work, who knows, but the moral of the story is;

Censor or no censor, you cant shake me off that easily. Bitches, peeps, I am back.

I need this kinda place to make me feel moderately good about myself, I need this to create at least a third of my messy head into some kind of sense or ..Some kind of shape at least, and I need this to vent, rant, panic, bitch, thrive, ooze, be drunk and blog (one of life's bittersweet pleasures), and you get the picture...

Introductions is a challange, and Im gladly accepting it. Tomorrow.