...Where the fuck did you come from?
Head's about to 'splode. Like a very frustrated plosive, 'k' perhaps.
Today we're going to talk about change, children. It is, indeed, a very scary process, but oh so necessary. See, school hasnt been going ..whatyoupeoplesay..Great?
Which could easily been explained with, you know, managing a life and all. Ive been told thats a big no-no at uni. Fine, so the transition from working fulltime to studying fulltime didnt go as smooth as expected, no problem for this tough cookie.
Uh..What? Youre supposed to do it all the time? And X-nay on the halfassed attempts to fix everything around you? Not even your serious relationship or your messy apartment (since you apperently live with autistic five year olds. Which is odd, cause they do look like 23+..)??
Stop. Rewind.
Nah, hold it. Stop. And nothing. Thats it, isnt it? Nothing else. Not for some time at least.
Ive been all over the place, work screwed me over, illness and illness, friends, parents, I something you, no inspiration and no time for it, Oh ho hum I could make this a long, ugly list but I wont. Why? I make myself sick by thinking Im above excuses.
So, in our freezeframe, I am doing nothing.
If we fastforward Ill move quickly and awkwardly through Gilmore Girls, an egg, and now blogging. Oh yeah, between the egg and the blogging there was also the completely unnecessary relationship meltdown.
Ah yes. The impecable timing that is my boyfriend.
What I am (calm and collected) trying to say to him is: I need more time for studies. I dont want to spend more time apart from him, far from it, but this is what I need to do. And I dont know how to do it just yet, but I will try to figure out a way, and Im kind of close-to-breakdown right now. He gets this. One of the reasons why I dig him so much.
Then he turns all worried, then he turns all silent and thoughtful, and then BAM!
We need to talk about the relationship. Now, any girl (and quite a few boys, for that matter) would tell you; this is not a good thing. So ofcourse I wonder what he means.
Its no biggie, its nothing new, but we need to talk about it, it is important, it can wait til another day, but he hates leaving it over the phone... You dig? This is what I get on the day I need to make changes? Panic, problems and paranoia? Thank you. And good night.
