"I am not under any orders to make the world a better place."
He said, and I mightve believed him, as I do when someone seems sure enough.
Truth be told, I was knocked out by CNN, had to clean the entire apartment while listening to Bob Dylan, really loud to block out any evil that might venture thru the open windows.
My sentences are broken after leaving all the important ones on my desktop, but if I keep seeing them as NP+PP etc, I might even be able to put something coherent here, or atleast, linear.
...
Nah, fuggit. Let the chaos of my high octane mind run out here as well, I like you now, and with less people to juvenile-shly impress, knowing there'll be alcohol two days straight, free flow.
Ill be running a drunken experiment on pownce tonight, hopefully if bf doesnt get in the way, and other than that Im twittering less than I want to, its called selfcontrol.
Other than that that, Im hoping Ill be able to put up a proper design here alt. move this to somewhere I can. I need pictures in here, otherwise the thoughts wont fit, theyre like windows, see? Im working on it, but like with everything regarding the homesituation, things are moving slow.
For the record, I am also working literally everyday. Every. Day.
"What happened is that um, I kinda got this arcane glimpse of the universe and the best thing I can say about that is... I don't know. "
Sunday, July 22
Wednesday, July 4
Like a Radio
Draft I made coupla weeks/days ago (i dunno) and I happen to keep a no draft policy right now. Its quite tedious but everything needs to get out there. Fly, little fella. fly.
Its a job, you know. Nothing more or less. I just happen to be very good at it.
And as usual, with things that comes easy, Im bored. Still need the money, with what, all this dreaming of mine going on, and I cant really disagree with the amount of free movies Im watching.
So what do I do? Well, part from trying to convince Boss I need a monkey to fetch the boxes, I also work hard, a lot. Seeing how much time I spend doing other stuff (or internetting/notworking) I see how thats hard to believe.
Truth be told, Im just a quick learner and dont care/get payed enough to do all the things I need to.
Thank you, ms Obvious.
Where am I going? Oh yeah. Life's not fair, mmkay, we know this. But Im getting somewhat sick of people around me expecting applause for the most mundane and natural of tasks.
"Oh you did what you were supposed to, payed taxes AND fixed whatever errand?"
Really? Thats just spectacular, idiot. Now, if you could just manage to contain some sense of personal hygiene and actually treat me as a person, well, darling, that would be just swell.
In nerdrelated news: Im disturbingly enthustiatic about the transformers movie, Im re-reading Preacher, cause basically, Im just in a gun-toting mood, and Dylans Love and Theft seems to be working as an awesome soundtrack to all this madness. Or lack of, I wouldnt know.
Its a job, you know. Nothing more or less. I just happen to be very good at it.
And as usual, with things that comes easy, Im bored. Still need the money, with what, all this dreaming of mine going on, and I cant really disagree with the amount of free movies Im watching.
So what do I do? Well, part from trying to convince Boss I need a monkey to fetch the boxes, I also work hard, a lot. Seeing how much time I spend doing other stuff (or internetting/notworking) I see how thats hard to believe.
Truth be told, Im just a quick learner and dont care/get payed enough to do all the things I need to.
Thank you, ms Obvious.
Where am I going? Oh yeah. Life's not fair, mmkay, we know this. But Im getting somewhat sick of people around me expecting applause for the most mundane and natural of tasks.
"Oh you did what you were supposed to, payed taxes AND fixed whatever errand?"
Really? Thats just spectacular, idiot. Now, if you could just manage to contain some sense of personal hygiene and actually treat me as a person, well, darling, that would be just swell.
In nerdrelated news: Im disturbingly enthustiatic about the transformers movie, Im re-reading Preacher, cause basically, Im just in a gun-toting mood, and Dylans Love and Theft seems to be working as an awesome soundtrack to all this madness. Or lack of, I wouldnt know.
Tuesday, July 3
I keep falling over
Summer is thrashing outside, yearning me to drink heavily in parks and feel bad about it the next day.
Its just a house, not a home, but slowly realising it is, and that I put myself here. And maybe I need this, maybe this dislocation is just temporary panic of not finding that stupid piece of puzzle, probably just someones nose or whatever, and I need not find it to see the motif.
Im not gonna lie, Im censored up to my ears in this place too, and I wish I could talk to you like I need to.
"Its not about how you feel, its about how you make others feel" well, fuck you sir, it is not.
For some it may be, and I was getting adopted into this whole wonderful family of Beautiful Freaks (meant in the best, possible way) but Im getting worn out, ran down and diminished.
Or, she wrote in a moment of clarity, I was doing it to myself. No idea to be pointing fingers, I thought, but its hard not to surrender to the current trend.
I keep passing out.
Blacking out whatever I dont know how to deal with right now, and when Im done doing that Ill.. I might not.
Its just a house, not a home, but slowly realising it is, and that I put myself here. And maybe I need this, maybe this dislocation is just temporary panic of not finding that stupid piece of puzzle, probably just someones nose or whatever, and I need not find it to see the motif.
Im not gonna lie, Im censored up to my ears in this place too, and I wish I could talk to you like I need to.
"Its not about how you feel, its about how you make others feel" well, fuck you sir, it is not.
For some it may be, and I was getting adopted into this whole wonderful family of Beautiful Freaks (meant in the best, possible way) but Im getting worn out, ran down and diminished.
Or, she wrote in a moment of clarity, I was doing it to myself. No idea to be pointing fingers, I thought, but its hard not to surrender to the current trend.
I keep passing out.
Blacking out whatever I dont know how to deal with right now, and when Im done doing that Ill.. I might not.
Monday, July 2
Where do I start, where do I begin?
While the mightiest of mighty martial arts kinda gangster music is playing in the background (Kung Fu Hustle, not great, but I do enjoy the sound of it) I will attempt to compose a summary of sorts.
I picked up Stranger thursday night, and went on dragging him and luggage thru old town in order for him to get some sights, part from you know, me and festival. We come home and Boyfriend was Wiiing (heh) his heart out.
Im retarded and forgot to leave a key at work, but we needed candy so it wasnt so bad.
Best friend and coworker said he looked lost.
And from here on its just drinking, grass, standing in line A LOT, geeky dancing, sexy cansei, and I admit he got me a bit too drunk (you know the town drunk? yeah, not pretty) all paths leading to the Calling of The Hun, which was awesome, but quite intimidating.
Day Two have more awesome bands, but shitty weather, also I was trying to keep my brain from splitting in two.
I did really enjoy Maccabees and Rufus Wainwright in particular, mostly cause Bright Eyes almost tore me apart.
Day Two also showed crappy planning from both my side and whatever fuckheads ran the festival.
Clearly they underestimated the amount of people attending, so lines for beer and ladies was goddamn right awful. Specially since I failed in my mission to hook Stranger up with random swedes, which I completely blame on the lack of cool people. Nyah. So for future reference; lack of beer plus Bright Eyes live in a sea of couples = not cool, man.
Good times, good times, but I need recovery and my linguistic superpowers back.
On a personal note, its a weird kinda mirror meeting someone who's technically from the past, only, you didnt realise until he showed up, and that makes you rethink a lot of the stuff that comes natural now.
This, my friends, is a good thing, but it eats energy like it was your soul.
Whenever people visit, I seem to be having the crappiest weekends; Bboy's working, weather is horribly brittish and some sort of money issue. This time around it didnt phase me though.
I picked up Stranger thursday night, and went on dragging him and luggage thru old town in order for him to get some sights, part from you know, me and festival. We come home and Boyfriend was Wiiing (heh) his heart out.
Im retarded and forgot to leave a key at work, but we needed candy so it wasnt so bad.
Best friend and coworker said he looked lost.
And from here on its just drinking, grass, standing in line A LOT, geeky dancing, sexy cansei, and I admit he got me a bit too drunk (you know the town drunk? yeah, not pretty) all paths leading to the Calling of The Hun, which was awesome, but quite intimidating.
Day Two have more awesome bands, but shitty weather, also I was trying to keep my brain from splitting in two.
I did really enjoy Maccabees and Rufus Wainwright in particular, mostly cause Bright Eyes almost tore me apart.
Day Two also showed crappy planning from both my side and whatever fuckheads ran the festival.
Clearly they underestimated the amount of people attending, so lines for beer and ladies was goddamn right awful. Specially since I failed in my mission to hook Stranger up with random swedes, which I completely blame on the lack of cool people. Nyah. So for future reference; lack of beer plus Bright Eyes live in a sea of couples = not cool, man.
Good times, good times, but I need recovery and my linguistic superpowers back.
On a personal note, its a weird kinda mirror meeting someone who's technically from the past, only, you didnt realise until he showed up, and that makes you rethink a lot of the stuff that comes natural now.
This, my friends, is a good thing, but it eats energy like it was your soul.
Whenever people visit, I seem to be having the crappiest weekends; Bboy's working, weather is horribly brittish and some sort of money issue. This time around it didnt phase me though.
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