Seems like Im only able to get the bloggin to function if Im annoyed with people enough. Dont get me wrong, I am now ofcourse, but not as much as to actually blog about it.
Unless Im at work 2 (videostore) where there's no end to it. Sadly, clerks have no blogging at work rights, otherwise the bloggosphere would be filled with good rants about idiots.
It is now, but I find that the idiot ranting you take home with you just isnt as potent and more sour than the spur of the moment loveliness one thinks of ten seconds after the acutal incident occured.
I digress.

What have I been up to?
Oh everything and anything and nothing.
Everything as in Ive worked full time (mentally, at least) with something that was supposed to be part time, get me places, and just in general, be fucking awesome.
Anything, anything at all I could afford or have time for was what I did when I wasnt working/stressing out. Meaning no choice.
Nothing is what I have to show for it now, come September. No money, no thesis, Im not too sure about work, definatly no tan fading, creativity and potential love all fucked, you know whatever.

Choices are important to me, its not as much about walking the right path, its about walking your own path. My path since forever, feels like its been chosen for me. I have no jewish mom telling me to be a doctor/marry a doctor, but I have a knack for ignoring whatever Im feeling and doing "the right thing", perhaps even when it might be wrong.
Whoa, either very deep or contradictory load of bull. I could go either way here, no one cares about this place, including me.
Point being, when someone "asks" you to work part time with research at the university, and youre as newbie as they come, its not a choice to accept, you just do. When your living with you ex, and youre soo sick of not being wanted (everywhere Ive lived damnit), an overpriced studentapartment is not a choice, its a fact. I can go on and on about how almost every aspect in my life is like this, but it wont make anything any different. What bothers me most is that Ive always been convinced that its all about choices, even the stuff that "happens" to you, are things you are letting happen to you. And now, this is true to an extent, but what about when you made the wrong choices for too long? How do you pull the breaks on such a thing?

.....

Well, I dont know. But: Beer!!